1 Corinthians 7:12-17 (NRSV)

To the rest I say – I and not the Lord – that if any believer has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called you.

Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife. However that may be, let each of you lead the life that the Lord has assigned, to which God called you. This is my rule in all the churches.

As I’ve been reflecting on the anniversary of 9/11, my thoughts have returned again and again to 1 Corinthians 7:12-17. You might think this is a rather odd choice of texts, and a lot of people would probably agree with you.

Many denominations have put together lectionaries, collections of scripture passages for use in worship. Over a three-year cycle, the lectionary takes a congregation through all of the texts that the authors think it is important for Christians to hear in worship.

The reading we heard this morning is not one of those texts. It doesn’t matter if you’re following the Revised Common Lectionary, the United Methodist lectionary, the Roman Catholic lectionary, the Lutheran lectionary, or the Episcopalian lectionary. The churches that use those lectionaries might disagree on many things, there’s one thing they all do agree on: it would be absolutely fine if 1 Corinthians 7:12-17 was never heard in Sunday worship.

Maybe there are some good reasons for that. To start, this passages talks about some very sensitive matters. Should you get married? Should you stay married? Should you stay single? Before we go any further, I think we need to acknowledge right at the start that some things that some churches have said on these subjects are just not very helpful.

So when I first thought about preaching on this reading, I had to ask myself, “Do I really want to go there? Do I really want to touch this?” And as I looked at it more, I said to myself, “Yes, I really do want to explore what Paul is trying to say here.”

So the first thing I would like to say is, “Let go of all of the things that you’ve heard that Paul has said, and let’s listen to Paul and let Paul speak for himself.”

And when we do this, we may find another reason that this scripture is not in the lectionary. Because Paul is at times extremely, brutally honest about the fact that he is speaking for himself. He starts off this passage in verse twelve by saying, “To the rest I say, (I and not the Lord)…” “I and not the Lord,” that is Paul being honest. He’s not trying to claim that what he’s saying is divine revelation. He’s admitting that he’s giving us the best information that he has, but you should know that this is from him and not from God.

When you get to verse twenty-five, Paul gets even more blunt. He essentially says, “Well, I don’t have anything from God about this, but here’s what I think.” He’s completely honest about the fact that this is what he thinks… and someone else, well maybe they might think something different. Paul leaves open the possibility God will inspire him later and he’ll realize that something he’s said is wrong and he’ll need to go back and change it.

Perhaps that’s the real reason that this passage got left out of the lectionary. Some people might be uncomfortable with a part of the Bible where one of the Biblical authors admits that he might not have all of the answers, so he’s going to do his best with what he has. But for me, this makes this passage all the more meaningful, because many of us are searching, many of us don’t have all the answers, and many of us are trying to do the best with what we do know. For me, Paul’s honesty helps me identify with him as a fellow seeker, a church leader who’s honest about the fact that he isn’t always sure about all of the answers.

So having given us this disclaimer, Paul goes on to try to answer four questions in the passage we read today and the verses before and after it. I’m going to simplify things a bit, but the four questions are:

• If you’re single, should you stay single?
• If you’re single, should you get married?
• If you’re married, should you stay married?
• If you’re married, should you become single?

In considering these four options, Paul’s favorite is to be single and stay single. That’s Paul’s way, and Paul is pretty clear in saying that he’d prefer that everyone be like him. But Paul also acknowledges that may not be the right answer for everyone. So if you’re single and you want to get married, Paul’s okay with that too.

Now if you’re married, then Paul thinks that you should stay married… unless that’s not working, whereupon it’s okay to not stay married.

So the four choices that we started out with: Single stay single? That’s Paul’s favorite. Single, get married? Paul says that’s okay too. Married, stay married? Paul’s great with that. Married, become single? That’s okay too. This is probably not what you’ve heard that Paul says about marriage, but that is what Paul is saying here. If you think that might make some churches uncomfortable, well maybe that’s why this passage gets left out of the lectionary.

Now let’s go a little deeper. When I chose this scripture, I wasn’t thinking about marriage. The reason that I chose it is that Paul says something fascinating when he’s talking about believers and their relationships with unbelievers. Paul brings up the question, “What if you are married, and your spouse is an unbeliever? What then?”

Paul’s response is, “It’s good to stay married, because simply by being in that relationship, you make your whole family holy.”

Now I have to admit that when I hear that, it’s intimidating. Like many ministers, I’m more than a little bit co-dependent. So if I hear that being in a relationship with someone means that I have to make them holy, I think, “I have enough trouble keeping myself spiritually centered. I don’t want to have to be in charge of making an entire family holy. That sounds like way too much responsibility for me.”

But I don’t think Paul is really saying that being a Christian means that you’re suddenly responsible for making everyone holy. He’s not talking about converting people either. Paul does say in verse sixteen, “Who knows, it might be that your spouse would convert.” But if you read it in the Greek, it’s pretty clear that Paul is saying, “It might happen, but that’s not the expectation.” And I don’t think that the expectation is that you’re supposed to be the holiness enforcer, the holiness police, or even the holiness enabler.

When you look at a sunset… it’s beautiful. But it’s not beautiful because it’s trying to be beautiful. It’s beautiful because it just is. When you’re out on a walk through the woods, and you feel a cool evening breeze, it’s refreshing. And that’s not because the breeze is trying hard to be refreshing. It is just refreshing by its very nature.

In this passage, I think that Paul is saying something important about what it means to be a Christian. To be a Christian is to be in a state where the people around you are blessed by their relationships with you. To be a Christian is to be in a state where the people around you are also made holy, whether or not they become Christians. It’s not something that happens because you’re trying to make it happen, it’s just a natural consequence of your being a Christian. Thus from Paul’s perspective, it is fine to be in relationships with people who are not Christians, because by participating in those relationships, you help make the world around you holier.

Now there’s been a lot of talk recently about what the relationship between Christians and Muslims should be in America. So let’s see if this passage has anything to tell us about that. Paul says that it can be good to be a relationship with people who are not Christian believers. Not only is it good, but by being in those relationships, everyone involved becomes holier, even if others don’t believe what you believe.

So perhaps as Christians, we could apply a test when we think about how we want to be in a relationship with people who are not Christians and simply ask, “Do we think what we’re doing is making the world holier?”

I’ll throw out an example… A man in Florida wanted to get a bunch of Korans and burn them. Does that make things holier? [Several people from the congregation respond with a clear, “No!”] So if it’s not making the world holier, then that’s not what we’re called to do as Christians.

Thinking about what makes the world holier is important. All sorts of interesting dialogue around holiness has come up recently. I have heard people say that a mosque or an Islamic community center should not be built near the site of the World Trade Centers in New York, because that’s “Holy Ground.”

Now, I will admit, it confuses me when people say, “That place is holy, therefore we shouldn’t let people pray there.”

But there’s a deeper question here. What does it mean to be made holy? If that place is holy ground, what makes it holy?

Not far from Ground Zero is an Episcopalian church. When I went there after the 9/11 attacks, the church was closed to the public. It was closed because it was being used as a center for emergency relief. It was a blessing that there was a place of worship on that block. And it was a blessing that people who operated that spiritual center were able to open their doors and help those in need.

Having been there, I do believe that place is holy ground. But it is not holy ground because something terrible happened there. It is holy ground because of the way that people chose to respond to those terrible events. It was the global outpouring of compassion, caring, and concern that made that area holy.

So when we hear this talk and these debates, I think the question is, “How can we, as Christians, be the kind of people whom Paul described? How can we be people who make the world holier through our relationships? How can we live our lives so that simply by being who we are, we can be so blessed by God and our faith that the holiness spills out of us and into the world around us?” If we can answer those questions, I think we will truly understand what it means to be made holy.

This sermon was given at College Heights UCC, September 5, 2010