Remembering Barry Wichmann

Butterfly for Barry

Remarks from Barry Wichmann’s memorial service on April 21, 2018 at Good Shepherd Episcopal Church in Berkeley, California.

Barry Wichmann supervised my clergy internship at New Life MCC from 1999 to 2001. He was a great mentor. He brought a rich theological background to his ministry. Barry started out Lutheran, spent time in a variety of Orthodox, Pentecostal, and Charismatic churches, and then found his way to MCC.

Barry’s husband Brian Cross used to say that MCC reminded him of the story of the Israelites bringing treasure with them as they fled from slavery in Egypt. When LGBT people left other churches to join MCC, they brought musical, theological, and spiritual treasures. MCC was unique in that it was the place where all of those traditions came together to form something new. Nobody embodied this kind of theological synthesis better than Barry.

What Barry created was unique. He took the music from a Lutheran hymn of his childhood and wrote new lyrics that transformed it into “Children of the Rainbow Promise.” This hymn was sung at Metropolitan Community Churches across the United States and around the world.

Barry took the Anathema service from the Orthodox tradition and transformed it into a service that rejected the sins of sexism and homophobia.

Barry took the theology of Alcoholics Anonymous and wove it into the communion liturgy for his “12-Step Mass for the Season of Pentecost.”   I would like to read you a little of Barry’s communion liturgy, because I believe it beautifully summarizes his personality and theology.

The liturgy begins as follows:

The Metropolitan Community Churches practice an open communion. That means that whether you are a member of this church, some other church, or of no church at all; whether you are filled with faith or distracted by doubt; you personally are welcome and invited to this table. Some of us have been taught that communion is about being worthy or about having the right beliefs. Nothing could be further from the truth. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to Christ’s example. We are not what people call saints. But we do seek spiritual sustenance from a Power greater than ourselves, and God, in response to our cry, gives us bread for the journey. Come. There’s been a place set at this table for you for nearly two thousand years and it can never be taken away.

Later on he proclaims:

Half measures avail us nothing. We stand at the turning point. We ask God’s protection and care with a complete abandon. Together let us proclaim our faith in a power greater than ourselves.

He ends the liturgy with this prayer:

Almighty God, source of all freedom and Lover of humankind, bless the New Covenant of our liberation, deal graciously and lovingly with those who oppose us, that they may receive all that they need; and in your good time grant that all humanity may be one in their unending love of you and of one another. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I believe that the first time I ever celebrated communion was here in this church using Barry’s communion liturgy. It was a great way to get started.

Aside from the richness of his theological background, Barry also had a great sense of humor. He was able to see the lighter side of everything, including himself. At one point he was talking to me about his dreams about ministry when he was younger and he said, “It’s mostly turned out like I planned. My dream was that I would have a nice church, live a nice house with a nice partner, and nobody would ever know that we were gay.” Barry did end up with the church and the house and the partner, but that “nobody knowing that they were gay” part – well, it didn’t work out that way.  Thank goodness that it didn’t!  I loved the way that Barry could tell this story and find so much humor in it.

I also loved Barry’s relationship with his family. His parents Rollie and Lucille were regulars at New Life MCC. His daughter Stephanie would also drop in for services on occasion when I was there, and it was great to have them all in church together. Barry and Brian were inseparable during the time that I was at New Life MCC, and I am glad that Barry, Mark and Jim found one another in the years after I had moved away.

Barry’s experience as a father turned out to be very important to me when I was going through what was probably the most difficult time of my life. On May 6, 2000, my boyfriend James Lowrie unexpectedly died. This shattered my world. New Life MCC provided crucial support for me when I needed it most.

One of the questions I faced after James’ death was how to approach his parents. They were very conservative and they did not approve of James being gay. I knew they loved James, but I was angry with them for the way that they had acted regarding his sexual orientation. I didn’t know what I would say to them at James’ memorial service.

Barry talked with me from his experience as a parent. He helped me look beyond my differences with James’ parents to find compassion for them. Barry’s wisdom and good counsel was a great gift during a very difficult time.

Some years ago, the Berkeley City Council proclaimed November 19 to be Reverend Barry Wichmann day in the City of Berkeley.  I want to close today by reading from their proclamation:

WHEREAS, Reverend Barry Wichmann’s ministry creates a nurturing, spiritual environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and straight people to worship together in an environment respectful and reflective of human diversity; and

WHEREAS, Reverend Barry Wichmann gives his time and energies to provide food and clothing to the homeless; and

WHEREAS, Reverend Barry Wichmann labors to fight homophobia, racism and sexism in today’s culture. His fifteen years of leadership for civil rights, social action and justice for all people has created a community of love and self respect.

WHEREAS, Reverend Barry Wichmann reaches out with open arms to support those who struggle with alcohol and drug addictions; and

WHEREAS, Reverend Barry Wichmann provides support to other churches that welcome gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people; and

WHEREAS, as part of Reverend Barry Wichmann’s ministry of inclusive community building in the spirit of faith, hope and love, he performs gay and lesbian marriages for people whose own churches had turned them away; and

WHEREAS, Reverend Barry Wichmann helps teach and mentor gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered clergy to witness to God’s inclusive love for all people;

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that the City Council of the City of Berkeley hereby affirms and proclaims REVEREND BARRY WICHMANN’S 15TH ANNIVERSARY AS PASTOR OF THE NEW LIFE METROPOLITAN CHURCH AND HONOR NOVEMBER 19, 2000 AS REVEREND BARRY WICHMANN DAY in the City of Berkeley.

Leave a Reply